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Don’t mess with a nun - son
Written by Submitted   
Tuesday, February 26, 2013 6:56 PM

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with nuns my entire life.

Not only am I a product of Catholic schools, but two of my aunts were members of religious orders. I loved my aunts; I just hated visiting them.

I can attest that every nightmare any little kid had about being stuck inside a convent was true.

It was like having to go to Mass a second time in one day. One year on Christmas Day my parents packed up the whole family and drove to Reading to visit one of my aunts at the Sisters of Notre Dame motherhouse.

Let me repeat that for you: We went to the convent on Christmas Day instead of playing with all the neat stuff we got for gifts.

And that was one of the nuns that I loved.

When I went to St. Martin School I had the same nun for the fifth and sixth grades and then got stuck with one nun for both the seventh and eighth grades. Familiarity breeds contempt when it comes to the teacher/student relationship and by the final months of those second years together there was no doubt how we felt about each other.

Did I learn anything from those two nuns?

I’ll begrudgingly admit that I did. They could pound things into your head, although I still recall my eighth grade teacher, Sister Mary Leopolda - Leo for short - putting her own spin on the Cold War when she told the class Harry Truman was a “coward” for not letting Gen. Douglas MacArthur chase the Chinese back into “Red China” (as we liked to call it back then) from Korea.

I can’t recall her views on a ground war in China, but I’m quite certain she would have endorsed a nuclear attack on those communists.

The subject of nuns and politics has garnered a bit of attention locally thanks to an investigation being conducted in Hamilton County over alleged voting fraud involving an absentee ballot cast by a member of the Sisters of Charity who died a month before the election. Another Sister of Charity, who loved in the same private residence in Delhi, is suspected of filling out the ballot and mailing it in.

Since Ohio has become the most important state in the country when it comes to presidential elections, voter fraud has achieved a higher profile in the Buckeye state. Dirty tricksters on both sides, the kind made famous by Richard Nixon, have been targeted, as they should be.

No one wants the case of a Catholic nun going before a grand jury and certainly not to court, but a crime is a crime, whether it is done by someone wearing a ski mask or someone with a cross around her neck.

Hamilton County prosecutor Joe Deters is used to intimidating criminals when they come to his office, but Deters is a good Catholic boy himself and he know there is no way he is going to intimidate any God-fearing Sister of Charity with threats of jail time.

God-fearing Sisters of Charity have been intimidating good Catholic boys since the dawn of Sisterhood. I believe they take a class called The Art of Intimidation while in training.

For Deters’ sake, I hope the Sister of Charity being investigated is not anything like Sister Mary Leopolda, my nuke-the-Commies nun. He won’t stand a chance.

Bob Hyle covers sports and writes a weekly column for The Harrison Press. He lives in Bright.