September 30, 2014

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Big game ads hit and miss
Written by Jim Robertson   
Tuesday, February 05, 2013 7:43 PM

Every year about this time millions of people get excited over something that they normally don’t pay much attention to even though their attention is desired by the perpetrators of the thing.
Forget the game. It’s generally boring anyway unless you are a fan of one of the combatants. 
It’s the advertising that grabs the bulk of the attention. Most of the time we tend to tune out the ads, tivo past them or find something else to do for two minutes or so.
Not during the big game. We want to see what some of the usual suspects have come up with this year. 
How is Budweiser using its Clydesdales to hawk beer?
Doritos has had some interesting moments over the years.
Cars using scenery or babes or scenic babes to make the viewer feel inadequate unless he runs out Monday to purchase a status symbol.
As soon as the game action returns, we return to the buffet, that is unless we are checking on our prop bets, such as how many times have the viewers been told the opposing coaches are brothers? 
The result of the coin flip in the 46 previous games has had an equal outcome between the two possible results. 
Although just once, I’d like to see someone have the nerve to call “edges.” The toss was “heads” so now it leads “tails” alltime 24-23.
For some, the halftime entertainment is must see, unless you turn over to the Puppy Bowl. 
Probably never be another wardrobe “malfunction” but you can probably get some sort of wager on that.  That’s why they call it gambling.

Smacks of schmaltz
Was anybody else grossed out by the supermodel making out with the nerd for Go.Daddy? 
Made me want to put on my Sketchers and chase down a cheetah. 
How about the manufactured tension of buying a car while a mother wolf is growling at you? Vin Diesel as a daddy going for milk. 
The totally worthless Budweiser ads with all of the elite picking their new black brew.
VW wanted us to believe that you get so laid back in its car that you suddenly adopt a Jamaican accent. 
Doritos scored several times with its chip-eating goat and the hardcore football fans playing dressup princess with one of their group’s daughter. 
Maybe it is worth a black eye to kiss the prom queen in front of her date.  As long as you can drive dad’s Audi, that is.
Didn’t buy the old folks escaping the retirement home to eat tacos. 
Conversely, if you are going to start a riot in the library over the best part of an Oreo, you need more chaos.  At least some more explosions.

Just the first half
I’m sure there will be some blockbuster ads in the second half with the awaited anticipation of the newest Budweiser Clydesdale, an underdressed model hawking a Mercedes and some more shenanigans from other car, beer and snack food purveyors.
I really don’t care who won the Coke race despite having all, some or none of America voting for a winner. 
As usual, some of the network promos were better than some of the commercials. 
Yes, you do wear your shoulder pads and cup under the uniform. Where’s Mean Joe Greene when you need him?

Jim Robertson is a longtime Harrison resident, a member of Harrison City Council, and a weekly columnist for The Harrison Press.